Big Dreaming, We Spending G's

So, I've been having these dreams with recurring themes. And last night, I had the latest one in that series so naturally, I had to blog it.

So the recurring theme is that I'm in a relationship with a girl or was in a relationship.

The first dream is pretty simple. I'm dating my best friend. But I don't know who. We did datey stuff together but I couldn't remember her face when I woke up. I just got the feeling that she was a best friend.

The second dream is a little more detailed. I'm a single father. I have a young daughter. I'm at a cemetery and I'm walking towards a tombstone. I get the feeling that it's where my wife is buried. But before I can get close enough to see the name engraved on it, I wake up.

The third dream is a lot longer and more detailed. I'm a hit man. I'm chilling in my apartment and cleaning my hand gun. I get a letter telling me that I have to kill a brothel whore in room 37. And I just remember that the number 37 stood out to me. I'm at the brothel and I ask for the services of that lady and tells me she's in room 37. I remember feeling very calm while I'm walking towards room 37. I also remembering wearing a simple black suit with no tie. I attach the suppressor on my hand gun. I open the room and aim my gun at the back of her head. She's on the bed with her back towards me and staring at the wall. My trigger finger freezes because I know the girl. She turns around to look at me but before I can fully see her face, I wake up. Lame, right?

The fourth dream is quite perplexing. It's the most recent dream and I just remember that all of my close friends were grilling me about my new relationship. They disapproved of it and made their opinions and voices heard quite loudly. The "supposed" girlfriend wasn't there and I had no idea who she was except that no one liked us being together. However, they disapproved of the relationship not because they hated her but because they thought we shouldn't be together. As if our relationship was a taboo or something. Weird, right?

Weird, right?

Avoiding Sappy Title

So there's a lady that I am currently...involving myself with? hanging out with? chasing fruitlessly? The last two are probably the most accurate descriptions. I thought it'd be a bit boring if I just went on and went on about her and about a relationship that will never happen. It also seems very high school Brian to do something like that.

Why do I find myself attracted to her? I'm not too sure myself. She's kind of short. Super quiet voice. Both are things that are not on the track record of qualities Brian looks for in a lady. She does have cartilage piercings that I do find wildly sexy. I actually haven't had a lot of times to talk to her. But the few times I did, I thoroughly enjoyed. Admittedly, I know very little of her but isn't that what the purpose of attraction? To pursue the girl and inquire more about her?

She enjoys bowling, she knows Dr. Strange. This is quite a feat. Even casual comic book fans know little to nothing of the former Sorcerer Supreme. Dr. Strange is not a household Marvel superhero name. Yet...YET....she knew about him. She said she knew him from the video game she played, Marvel Ultimate Alliance. If at that point she said that she also plays fantasy football, I would've deduced that I was in a dream and waiting for my "kick".

However, after some introspection, I came to a conclusion. I constantly find myself hopelessly attracted to ladies that I have no chance with. It's a constant among all those whom I find myself attracted to over the years. Now, I don't mean that they're out of my league or anything when I said that I don't have a chance with them. I just mean that certain circumstances forbade me to do anything. Like an inconvenient boyfriend, my just a friend image, or in the case of HAMs, their children and marriage.

I don't know if I do this subconsciously or if I just have some weird attraction to the unattainable. Either way, I know how this story ends with this young lady. I resolve to do nothing but yet, I'm in too deep to just de-attach myself. We end up becoming close friends, late night texts, IM conversations, and the such. She's still going to be with the boyfriend. I eventually get sick of the masquerade and somehow sabotage the friendship and we end up drifting apart. And we're relegated to the yearly birthday Facebook wall post.

How do I know this? It's happened before. Twice. Oh well. It's a cycle, you know, with the Earth rotating and revolving and such. It's just one of those cycles. Moving on now.

*on a side note, I do dearly regret losing touch with those two friends. All because I thought I was madly attracted to them and thought they were perfect for me. Oh well...

Summer Musings:The Characters of PCNJ Summer School Soccer

This is a long post. Expect all my posts to be quite lengthy. I can get quite long winded.

This is my fourth or fifth year working at the summer school. Every year I was always chosen to lead the pool for our beloved summer school. It's no biggie although the other teachers hated it. It was boring at times and being wet all the time sucked and smelled. However, this year I got to run the soccer activity. It has been absolutely awesome and it's the best hour in my work day. (Yes, even better than lunch)

I love running the soccer activity with my fellow soccer mates, John and Jay. We split the week into two different groups. The first group is comprised of grades K-3 and they play on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and grades 4-7 play on Monday and Wednesdays. Obviously, Mondays and Wednesdays are a bit more exciting than Tuesdays and Thursdays. But what I love about running soccer is that everyday I leave amazed and happy. I am genuinely excited for soccer everyday.

Why? I love sports. I think it's more than just jocks chasing a ball and hurting each other. That's why I get pissed off when people dismiss sports as just sports any nothing else. Thanks for being ignorant, by the way. Playing sports at a young age can boost confidence, teach teamwork, and if taught by the right people can teach you about how not to be a total dickhead.(More on that later.)

There's one 3rd grader, Paul. He's insanely good at playing soccer. He has great ball control, incredible vision, his passing is just amazing, and unlike the other kids in soccer, he loves to pass and embraces the team above self which he does to a fault. He passes too frequently and does not finish as often as he should. It's no surprise that he has only scored 3 goals this summer and that his best friends are on top of the leader boards because he sets them up for easy goals constantly.

But that's Paul. He's quiet, shy, and tends to stay away from the spotlight. He has a quiet voice and it tends to get lost in the sea of shouting and screaming for his peers. I've known Paul since he was 5 and even then he was talented at the beautiful game. It always left me wondering, why isn't this kid more confident in his abilities? If I was that good, I'd be the cockiest and loudest SOB on the pitch. He doesn't even look to happy when he scores. The closest thing I've seen him celebrate is when he delivers a beauty of a cross to his friends and they finish and score.

This year in particular, he seems to play more timidly than previous years. During a game in the second week, he tried to deliver a booming pass down the middle but a 1st grader got caught in path of the pass and it hit him right in the gut. Instantly, we knew this was not good from the sound of impact of the ball. The kid looked like he got shot by a Magnum. Then we realized Paul has been playing timidly because he was afraid to play seriously for fear of hurting others. We also found out that he found playing with kids younger than him terribly boring. You'd understand if you watched 5-6 year olds play soccer. It's not the most compelling game out there.

We asked him if he wanted to move up to the older kids bracket and play with him. Much to our surprise, he declined. He didn't want to play without his friends and secretly, he was afraid to play with the older kids who were just as fast as him and much stronger than him. We invited him to watch the older kids play and I think he was impressed and amazed at the level of play. We even invited his 4 other friends to play with the big kids.

That following Monday, we invited them to play and it was a cute sight to see. These tiny 8 year old students in the presence of 10-13 year olds. The little ones certainly look intimated. We split the five of them up into 3-2. Paul with 2 others and the other two on another team. I remember before the game started that some of the 7th graders were talking amongst themselves, "Why are the 3rd graders here?" "They look so tiny." "They shouldn't be playing with us. They might get hurt."

Jason(one of the 5), the overall leader for goals scored, shut their mouths up quick by scoring a goal in the third minute. He's scored 7 goals during the summer school, and six of them were in the first half and the first goal of the game. The kid has a nose for the back of the net. Jeff, another 3rd grader, responded to Jason's goal with a goal of his own by sending a lob over the GK's head tying the game. The older kids were impressed/stunned/and humbled and it only took five minutes.

Paul was relatively quiet. It wasn't until about the fifteenth minute that he actually touched the ball. Now, when Paul played with the JV kids and he had the ball, the opposition would usually get out of his way because they knew how good he was. This was not the case with the Varsity kids, the second he touched the ball, there were two 7th graders converging on him and he lost the ball, tripped and scraped his knee a bit. I fully expected to see tears, or disappointment on his face but instead he dusted himself off and I saw a faint smile on his face. He embraced the challenge and bolted off to get back on defense.

Paul didn't find the back of the net until about midway through the second half. Paul found the ball by his feet on a botched corner and thunder kicked that ball through the defense. It was fast and powerful even the refs didn't know a goal was scored until we saw the ball behind the GK. It's the first time I saw Paul celebrate a goal during the summer school.

I think the best moment of that game was when Paul was bringing the ball down the field and was caught on the nasty end of a foul. His team captain, a 7th grader, rushed over to help him up and dust him off and inquired about his condition. It's more then a teammate helping a teammate, or a captain helping his player but it was a hyung being a hyung. It was a real, "FIGHT BACK THE TEARS OF PRIDE AND JOY, BRIAN!"

I'm really glad that Paul finally decided to play with the Varsity kids. I think this will really help his confidence and help foster that leadership quality I see in him. I see other teachers and TAs gravitate towards the cute, and younger kids and I say to them, go ahead and waste your time with them. Let me spend time with Paul and others who show traits of leadership and let me help foster them.

There are more characters and real great moments like that in soccer. Maybe I'll make a series of post about it. Actually, I decided. Done deal. Next time, I'll write about the other four members of the Fab Five.